Fanny Pack Love...

 I would say that I've always worn what I've wanted to when I want to.  I've never had a particular style, I just usually went with what I liked.  This remains true to this day regarding fashion and pretty much everything.

 The funny thing is that I don't ever remember being into, or even wearing a fanny pack when it was "in style." Almost a year after I had my first child, I remember finding a box of old clothing and bags.  I tossed most of the stuff in the garbage (I'm totally lying...I probably just folded it and put it in a new box in hopes that I will find a new way to wear it.) Interesting enough, I pulled an unused black leather fanny pack thinking that it would be good for an upcoming family day trip. I was 100% correct in my assumptions. I had a baby back pack bag along with my fanny pack and baby in arms, with no stress moving about. That trip changed the game for me. But guess what, I never even thought about the fact that, I took that fanny pack out of a box that was about 20 years old.  Because I'm not really a "trendy," person I never really ever thought about me being "OUT of style." I got all kinds of looks about my fanny pack, most of the time it was the "Are you serious?" look. So I did what I normally do with things like this, I go from indifferent to learning to love what makes me different. That is where the "Fanny Pack Love," began.

There should be NO shame in sacrificing style for what is going to make you a more productive parent.  At least, that's where I am right now.  I'm in the thick of mommy motherhood world and if it means that I can hold both of the walker's hands, carry the infant on my hip and pay the grocery bill with ease I'm cool with the stares, smirks, questions and comments. I've realized that I'm in a season, and one day I will get back to focusing on me.  I give the moms out there that can have their hair and make-up flawless, impressive outfits accentuated with that perfect bag and shoe props. I don't know how they do it,  because quite honestly, I'm impressed with myself for just brushing my teeth, combing my hair, changing my underwear and wearing the same color socks. Like I said,  I'm in a season and right now where I am, a fanny pack is perrrrrrfect.

Fanny Pack Love

When we walk down the street together,

I feel like this is a love that could last forever.

Although friends and some family say that you must go,

I adjust you on my hip and simply say, "No."

I wish that folks would just stay in their lane,

They have no idea just how much you keep me sane.

Gone are the days frantically searching for keys, wallet, pen and phone.

So when discussing love pack, please watch your tone.

Kids under five, you know I have three...

Why would I bother with a shoulder bag, I prefer my arms and hands free!

I know its a fashion piece from the 80's and a bit later,

But when worn on my side, I feel like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider.

I've got black, I've got brown and my favorite is gray.

Bottom line ya'll, my FANNY PACK is here to stay!!!! 

WOMANhood

Growing up, I was never classified as the “girly” type. I preferred wearing uniform shorts and old T shirts over frilly, cute dresses that my mom would try to put me in. I enjoyed wearing my green converse shoes over the latest barbie shoe style. I played sports with the boys on the playground instead of picking daisies in the field with the girls. Most of my friends were and always have been guys over girls. I did not care about make up or trying to be feminine looking until I got to college and realized with the help of a few volleyball teammates that there was a whole world of beauty that I had never discovered. 

Some of these things have also transcended into my adult life. I prefer a nice, cold beer over a fancy and expensive wine. I would rather watch a football game than go and get my nails done. I’m not afraid to wear a boyfriend blazer and all black and be stereotyped as “lesbian” when I am very much into men. I have a deep and raspier voice and singing voice that will never be dainty and Celine Dion no matter how hard I try. 

All of these characteristics have helped me come to a deeper revelation of what it really means to be a woman. “Woman” is not defined by preferences but is defined by a role that was chosen for you before you ever existed.  When did society start creating gender roles and their preferences? Why can’t my favorite color be blue without it being seen as a boyish trait? Why can’t I enjoy beer without it looking like I am trying to be “one of the guys”? When did this all happen? 

I will never forget a moment when I was in the sixth grade that a girl in my class looked at me and said, “You’re ugly and your best friend is pretty. You would be better looking if you were a boy.” Although I was too strong headed to let it bother me in that moment, it is still something that made me question why I was ever born a girl. Why did I prefer these “masculine” things over what I was supposed to enjoy? Why did I want to rip my dolls heads off instead of brush their hair? Why did boys like being my friend over girls being my friend? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?

In life, we all have defining moments. A defining moment for me was when I was in my first college english class. My teacher was a wonderful woman who brought light to so many issues that I had never thought about. She had a similar background as me in that she was raised in a very religious home, private school, strict but loving parents, preferred guy friends over girl friends, and was perfectly content walking in to teach her class with no make up and the outfit of her choice that day. During one of her classes, she was teaching on the subject of gender roles. She made the statement, “There is nothing wrong with tending towards masculine qualities as a woman. The key to embracing your womanhood is finding other women who are on the same vein because let me tell you, there are MANY of us out there who need to find MANY more like us to stand together. It’s our job to create roles and stop letting society tell us there is something wrong with preferences because of our gender.” She inspired me to see people for their characteristics and not their preferences. In turn, she inspired me to see myself for my characteristics instead of my personal preferences. 

Thankfully, I have been privileged enough to meet many amazing women that I consider my closest friends who have experienced similar childhoods and have broken many stereotypes with me. No matter your preferences as a woman, you are WOMAN. You are unique and wonderful and carry something that no one else does. Whether you enjoy the color pink or your favorite color is black, you are just as beautiful and graceful and WOMAN. 

Loving the Skin You're In..

Nadia Mejia, Miss California. Age:20

"My name is Nadia Mejia, I'm 20 years old, I'm the current Miss California USA. I frequently lead worship at my church in Los Angeles. I'm a full time model and I love the Lord more than anyone will ever be able to comprehend." That introduction makes it seem like I've got it all together doesn't it? Well... here in Los Angeles, we are professionals at putting up a good front. In today's society, we idolize people for the way they look, how many followers they have on Instagram, what cars they drive, etc. Sometimes it's hard to keep it together and pretend everything is perfect... so when I got asked by my beautiful friend Brandi to share my "not so private parts," a sense of relief hit me.

As women, we need to keep it real so that we are able to support and empower one another when things get rough. If I were to give an honest and more raw introduction of myself... considering all of the things that I go through... things that most people aren't aware of... it would sound more like this: "Hi, my name is Nadia Mejia; I'm a 20 year old who has recovered from, yet still battles Anorexia Nervosa every single day of my life... I am lonely and suffer mild depression because my entire family has lived across the country since I was 17 thus causing me to miss out on many life changing moments with the people who matter most, to due to my career... I am recovering from a breakup because I need to focus on myself as an individual and find happiness by being one with God and need to stop seeking happiness from a man... AND I love the Lord more than anyone will ever be able to comprehend." Not so glamorous anymore now, huh?

Thank God that I'm saved by the grace of God and have Him to get me through every trial and tribulation in my life. I had to hit rock bottom before developing that relationship. Growing up, I was raised in a Christian household. I attended church every Sunday and spoke about how much I loved the Lord, but still did not have that one-on-one "on fire" relationship with God that many of my peers spoke so highly of... at least not until I was broken, slowly killing myself, left clinging to my only hope... the Lord like no other.

Being a full time model, I'm constantly being judged based on my appearance and measurements. Breaking into the entertainment industry so young without my parents being there to keep me grounded and sane was extremely difficult. My mom and dad were going through the process of separating (but their faith in the Lord has kept them together to this day). I dealt with my anger and resentment a bit differently than probably most. I focused all of my energy and heart into my work to distract me from the chaos going on around me. I would focus so much on pleasing my bookers, who body shamed me endlessly, that I went from 132 lbs to 102 lbs in the matter of 2 months. I counted calories endlessly and refused to eat over 1000 cal a day. I ran 4 miles a day and feared food more than anything in the world. Eight months of my life, I struggled with this. But with the support of my family and my faith in God, I was able to overcome what the devil was telling me.

Upon realizing that my self worth should not come from someone else's opinion of me but that it should come solely from the Lord, I was given a new freedom. I am perfectly made in His image. I am never alone because He is always by my side. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. My life isn't perfect, yet I'm not ashamed to share my "not so private parts."

I pray that my testimony will help inspire young girls to love the skin they are in. Today, I'm 130 lbs. I work alongside the National Eating Disorder Association. I am closer than ever to my family emotionally, simply because they were my rock throughout my recovery. I freely share my story with schools, churches, and many others throughout California because God has given me a voice and a reason to spread His light and love.

Remember as woman, we are all worth more than any precious pearl or jewel to the Lord, and we must remind each other of one another's beauty every single day. We are all His unique creation. Embrace who you are.