White Privilege
This past week was a lot. I have felt activated and triggered. The emotional weight of seeing what I already know to be true play out on our screen has felt unsettling—like many, securing sanctuary for my emotions outside of my beautiful family has been challenging. For some, seeing rioters storm our nation's capitol, with little to no push back, confirms what I already know to be accurate, that we are not all equal. That there are an entirely separate set of rules or lack thereof in which others live and operate. When you are White, there are no rules; only a complete overarching superiority above said rules. As I saw doors being opened for these rioters with little resistance, I am sure that had this group been majority Black, Brown, Muslim, or anything other than White, there would have been a completely different outcome. We wouldn't have even made it to the steps of the capitol. I know this to be true.
What I have seen play out over the news and even across social media has confirmed many Black people's reality. We don't feel safe. We don't feel secure within this country. We don't feel safe amongst certain social settings, the medical systems, and even our White friends and associates. These are facts.
I live in Los Angeles, California, a progressive and liberal state. However, even in living here, I still find myself navigating racially, unsafe environments. This vast misconception amongst White people that racism only exists in the backwoods of Alabama or Mississippi and that these "bad people" have limited education, lousy grammar, and don't know better is inaccurate. These "racist people" live in our neighborhoods, teach our online yoga classes and wellness retreats, send love and light, and talk about manifestation. Some of these people are within the "motherhood community," creatives, photographers, influencers... They are in our pulpits, leading worship, elected officials, doctors within our medical system, and midwives within our birthing community. These are the same people that stormed the capitol building. They are everywhere, and therefore Black folks run the risk of encountering racism EVERYWHERE and in almost every situation, even when we birth. Because racism is everywhere, Black folks often don't feel safe even with our most "woke" friends. I repeat, Dear White people, your Black friends may or may not feel emotionally safe with you. I'll take it a step further; we may not even feel safe sharing IF we don't!
Over social media, I have heard terms such as "bravery" being used to describe the folks who were a part of this insurrection. I have heard words such as "sovereignty" being used to defend their choices - and this was not necessarily from the rioters. These terms have been used by folks from the wellness and self-care community. Again, it's everywhere. I've even seen people refuse to believe and speak out, saying that the outcome would NOT have been different if the rioters would have been Black. They've spewed rhetoric that the thought of a different set of rules results from media and the internet and that it's purely political. However, what they fail to realize is that folks who look like me have known this inequality to be true somatically, within our bodies, and that this racial insidiousness has existed long before the internet, the news, and most certainly before Trump. What we know to be accurate within our bodies - the feeling of having to be aware of how we show up in the world existed long ago, when we were stolen and brought here on boats - When our bodies were enslaved, raped, beaten, and hung from trees as a spectacle. We knew that the rules were different when a twelve-year-old Black boy named Emmett Till was murdered, and those who committed the murder were let off for this heinous crime. The rules were different when Breonna Taylor was shot dead as she slept, While Ahmaud Arbery jogged, and while the cops kneeled on George Floyd's neck for 8 minutes and 47 seconds in broad daylight. I don't need the news to tell me that the rules are different, that our existence is different, and that our lives are put in a category of "other" to believe it to be so. I know this within my body, as my ancestors knew it within theirs.
With that being said, to those who actively choose to mask their racism behind catchphrases or live out their racism openly, I ask the question, Is it bravery or White privilege? Is it Sovereignty or simply White supremacy? I'm asking for a friend.
Dear White People. If hearing that most of your Black friends may or may not feel safe with you causes you to feel a certain way, change it. Become safety. Become a sanctuary for folks to find emotional shelter. Do better. Do the work. Most importantly, gather yourselves. Talk to your family members, friends, and the people close to you. I've said this before, and I'll repeat it. Gather yourselves and stop asking Black folks to do it for you! We are exhausted. We are tired.
Dear Black folks. This week has been exhausting. I have found myself doing a tiresome dance of turning off the news, only to turn it back on again. Y'all, we have to be good to ourselves. Activist Tamika Mallory said it best. "I suggest that Black folks stand back and stand by while these folks throw a tantrum in DC. America needs to face its problem. Don't go out there. This is NOT our fight." During this time, we must take care of ourselves. Love on ourselves. Let's heal, protect our energy and our joy.
Last week was heavy. These next few weeks that Trump is in office feels unsettling. Many are afraid. I understand. I wish I could wrap this post up with a beautiful bow. However, I cannot. I know we will get through this. I know this to be true. Let's keep breathing.
