My name is Breck Oxford, I'm 36 years old and I'm a vegan personal chef.
As I sit here and write this story, I'm both nervous and excited to share my experience which has lead me to exactly where I am now...sitting on a birthing ball awaiting the arrival of my first child, a Sun. One of the first conversations my partner and I had was about how we envisioned childbirth... and we both said, at home in water. This was 9 years ago...
By 33, I made up my mind that I enjoyed my life without being a mother. I enjoyed not having the responsibility of being "tied down" and being able to pick up and go. I was in an on again off again relationship for 9 years and didn't know where that was headed. I just knew having a child wasn't a part of my story!
After much work on ourselves separately, dating and even developing feelings for other people we decided that we ( my on and off 9 year love) wanted to be with one another. This was the first real decision I made as a women, having no regard for what anyone thought. We worked hard and found ourselves in a place we've always dreamed of being with one another...happiness. It was light, and we'd been through so much, the only thing left was love. I was beyond ecstatic that everything in my life was how I pictured it. I had the relationship I wanted, a supportive family, friends and my career was headed in the right direction.
November 20, 2016 ( 2 days before my 36 solar return) I found out the unthinkable...I was pregnant! Great news right?! WRONG. I wanted no parts of this. I called my partner into the bathroom and shared the news, he was filled with so much joy and kissed away my tears of utter disappointment. In fact, I remember saying, "I don't want this". I was pissed. I thought 'Great, I'm not even a mom yet and my life is already ruined...my bday plans are cancelled, no turn up.' It took me a few months to really accept that I was pregnant. Then something happened... I fell in love with taking care of this little one growing inside of me. The party girl lifestyle became an afterthought, all I wanted to do was protect my little baby, my personal package. My relationships got stronger and some completely vanished.
Creating life has shifted my focus, given me a sense of strength and gratitude I've never had before. What I initially thought would "tie me down" has freed me so. I now have the power to say NO! Maybe a small feat for many, but for me going through this beautiful journey has been nothing more than my path towards womanhood. I am no longer in a prison of other people's thoughts and ideas. I am love, I am gratitude and I am an expecting mother. Thank you Sun for saving me from myself when I didn't even know I needed saving. I'm looking forward to this next adventure!
Peace, Love & Rainbows