Practicing Gratitude and Celebration

For our family, the first week of November is a full one, immersed in celebration and love. During November 8-14, we celebrate two birthdays and an anniversary. No, we didn't plan it this way, if that's what you're going to ask. It just is what it is. This year was a bit different. Between our sons' milestone birthdays (Jax age 14 and Jupiter age 2) and our 15th anniversary, we felt a bit of pressure. Considering how 2020 started and the celebration and gratitude that we both wanted to share, we subconsciously felt immense pressure to do the most. For the boys' birthdays, we didn't feel comfortable doing a birthday party due to COVID-19 cases rising again here in Los Angeles. We also couldn't figure out where we wanted to go for our anniversary. We both felt the pressure. Where did we land? I'm glad you asked. Here are a few takeaways on embracing gratitude and letting go of the pressure to do the most.

1. Our therapist applauded us on our grit and commitment to each other during our most recent therapy session. She shared that this week's goal would be to release the pressure of performing some grand gesture of celebrating 15 years. The celebration is simply the showing up with intention and that our anniversary was not confined to one day, and that we make the rules. So, we both decided to plan a getaway in January.

2. The boys' birthdays were the sweetest this year. Jax got his long-coveted jazz bass guitar and amp. Jupiter received more wooden building blocks to knock over. Yes, I am sure that both boys (and us too) would have loved to hang out with our friends, cutting a birthday cake, and celebrating our boys. However, this year we had something even more special. Jon and Jax stayed up all night watching The Matrix movies and eating vegan cobbler. In Jax's eyes, that was better than any birthday party (well, sort of; he's still a teenager).

3. This morning, I woke up to an online conversation between Alicia Keys and Deepak Chopra. They were discussing gratitude. Chopra shared the practice of living in gratitude and how it's different from merely thinking "happy thoughts" or ignoring reality. He shared that living in gratitude is taking an intentional moment, thinking of all the things you are grateful for, and basking yourself within the celebration of it all.

Lastly, I know that times can feel heavy. The way 2020 started for our family felt like nothing short of a dumpster fire. However, I have been in constant awe of how hard times never last always + how joy cometh in the morning. Keep going. Keep pressing. Keep doing the work. It's going to be ok. 

Inner Child, Calling

This year, I did something that I’ve never done before. I started therapy. Many moons ago, after the death of my mother, I began my search for a grief therapist. However, my search would prove unfruitful. Fortunately, my healing would come through the support of mentors and friends, who had walked a similiar long and windy road.

2020 has provided complete clarity concerning what I would need to thrive and live my best life. One of the many lessons that I’ve learned? If you want to heal yourself, heal your inner child. The way we see the world, react to disappointment, receive criticism often times stem from what we did or did not receive during our formative years. Truthfully, the way this world is set up in regards to attachment parenting or the lack thereof, its deficit has produced a world full of matured bodies with childhood induced wounds. If one is brave enough to lean into truth, we will all find that we can only find + appreciate joy when we heal.

So where, does that leave us? How do we begin to tend to these wounds? The short answer... We acknowledge and begin to have the conversation. We allow our adult self to see and hear our inner child. We allow our adult words to pour over like a balm. We allow our acknowledgement to create a salve that permeates deep within our cells. No one can heal our inner child, but us. This work is our own. Here’s to the journey.

In this week’s newsletter, I feature an amazing article on healing our inner child. It’s absolutely worth a read. Click the Recess Room tab to subscribe to weekly joy!