ON THRIVING

I know. It's been a while. For the past few years, I have been knee-deep in writing my first book, ON THRIVING. And I am beyond overjoyed to announce that it's here! Yes, this book baby of mine, will be out in the world in a little over a week (everywhere books are sold), AND it's available for pre-order now!!

For anyone who has ever written a book, we all know it's hard work. And depending on the subject matter, it's heart work and most certainly a labor of love. So what is ON THRIVING all about? ON THRIVING is all about thriving in the current space you're in. Yes, I said it. You do not have to wait. You can thrive right here. Right now.

Many of you have been reading my blog, Not So Private Parts since we first pressed the publish button in 2016. And here we are, publishing a book with Penguin Random House for us all to lean into our thriving. I want to say thank you! Pressing the publish button and sharing my story changed my life. You, the reader, have changed my life. And as I move forward as a published author, my life is about to change and bloom in the most beautiful ways. I have you to thank for this.

Pre-Order ON THRIVING Here! Here's to thriving in 2024.

More on gratitude

The leftovers are tucked away. We have all eaten our fill. Whether we are snuggling close to our loved ones, friends, or with ourselves, may we hold on to what matters most. If there's anything that we've gathered from this year, it's what's important. Hopefully, we've all arrived at the place where love matters; people matter, and toilet tissue matters, for real. This year, I hope that we are intentional with our purchases and gather ourselves, directing our consumer dollars toward small businesses, who need it most! This year, may we hold gratitude within our hearts, minds, and spirits. Every day, when we awake, may we give thanks for the sunlight that has gifted us with yet another moment with its rays kissing our cheek. May we show gratitude for the air softly dancing through our lungs… Every day, may we rise and accept our purpose as if it is our life's rent for receiving another day upon this earth.

For what are you grateful? How do you show it? This week, my meditative question for you is, What does gratitude feel like?

Lastly, if you are a Recess Room newsletter subscriber, check your inbox. There, you will find some pretty sweet Black Friday deals and promo codes offered from some of my favorite brands and small businesses! If you can, make sure to support!

Practicing Gratitude and Celebration

For our family, the first week of November is a full one, immersed in celebration and love. During November 8-14, we celebrate two birthdays and an anniversary. No, we didn't plan it this way, if that's what you're going to ask. It just is what it is. This year was a bit different. Between our sons' milestone birthdays (Jax age 14 and Jupiter age 2) and our 15th anniversary, we felt a bit of pressure. Considering how 2020 started and the celebration and gratitude that we both wanted to share, we subconsciously felt immense pressure to do the most. For the boys' birthdays, we didn't feel comfortable doing a birthday party due to COVID-19 cases rising again here in Los Angeles. We also couldn't figure out where we wanted to go for our anniversary. We both felt the pressure. Where did we land? I'm glad you asked. Here are a few takeaways on embracing gratitude and letting go of the pressure to do the most.

1. Our therapist applauded us on our grit and commitment to each other during our most recent therapy session. She shared that this week's goal would be to release the pressure of performing some grand gesture of celebrating 15 years. The celebration is simply the showing up with intention and that our anniversary was not confined to one day, and that we make the rules. So, we both decided to plan a getaway in January.

2. The boys' birthdays were the sweetest this year. Jax got his long-coveted jazz bass guitar and amp. Jupiter received more wooden building blocks to knock over. Yes, I am sure that both boys (and us too) would have loved to hang out with our friends, cutting a birthday cake, and celebrating our boys. However, this year we had something even more special. Jon and Jax stayed up all night watching The Matrix movies and eating vegan cobbler. In Jax's eyes, that was better than any birthday party (well, sort of; he's still a teenager).

3. This morning, I woke up to an online conversation between Alicia Keys and Deepak Chopra. They were discussing gratitude. Chopra shared the practice of living in gratitude and how it's different from merely thinking "happy thoughts" or ignoring reality. He shared that living in gratitude is taking an intentional moment, thinking of all the things you are grateful for, and basking yourself within the celebration of it all.

Lastly, I know that times can feel heavy. The way 2020 started for our family felt like nothing short of a dumpster fire. However, I have been in constant awe of how hard times never last always + how joy cometh in the morning. Keep going. Keep pressing. Keep doing the work. It's going to be ok. 

It's Going to Be Ok.

It's going to be ok.
I know.
It's a lot.
The world feels heavy.
Things feel heavy.
We could all use a hug.
We are all going to be ok.

Parents are gearing up for their second round of remote learning. Folks are nervous. Will my child be left behind? Will they thrive? Will we survive? Partnerships feel strained. No, you are not the only one who is feeling big feelings toward their significant other. No, you are not the only one who is feeling uninspired. It's ok if you don't want to make sourdough, learn how to knit, or master a craft during this time.

Yes, we have all entered a zoom meeting with pajama bottoms, AND no, you are not the only who is over Zoom meetings. We miss our friends too.

It's all going to be ok. How do I know? How can I be so sure? Because we always have been in ages past. We, humans, are a resilient sort shifting... evolving... thriving.

The key is to take it one day at a time...One moment at a time. Concentrate on what matters. You. Your mental health. Your wellness.

Let go of petty disputes. A dear mama friend, Melanie Fiona, once said during a panel, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be well?"

Lean into truth. What is the truth? Find it. Hold on to it.

Cultivate Joy

The word joy has been resonating with me this ENTIRE pregnancy. More specifically, cultivating joy. During this pregnancy, while I have been overwhelmed by love and support, I have had to find the balance between celebrating and grieving, all at the same time. I have had to hold space and allow myself to sit with uncomfortable truths. I have had to grieve the loss of the baby that we lost only a month before conceiving our second rainbow babe. I have had to grieve the loss of my mother (because pregnancy has a way of bringing it all to the surface.)  I have had to grieve and sit with the uncomfortable truth that I may never be as close to certain extended family members as I would like. All of these truths are currently reality. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel comfortable.

Truthfully, for someone like me, I hate sitting in discomfort. It sucks. My natural tendency is to avoid it all together. What does that look like? For me, avoidance looks like subjecting myself to same behaviors or thought patterns, hoping for a different outcome, all to avoid the truth. This pregnancy is where I finally sat with it all and didn't try to change IT or OTHERS. This time around, I sat in the discomfort and stared the truth square in the eyes. It hurt. I found that by sitting with the truth and acknowledging it as a reality that holds the possibility to change (or not) with no help from yours truly, it didn't break me. I found that by acknowledging these things that could not change, I was able to focus most effectively on the things that I could change. I was able to truly cultivate joy.

I began focusing on the healthy relationships that are present. I began to examine friendships/ relationships (business or personal) with the same light as I would examine the food that I ingest. Is it toxic? Does it bring life? Is it harmful? I began to celebrate this rainbow pregnancy, while also allowing myself to pause and feel sad for the loss that I had previously experienced. I listened to what felt good on the inside and didn't question.

So, what does Joy mean? It means, acknowledging reality or truth, yet choosing to see/find joy in what also is truth. For me, it means acknowledging that while I am not as close as I would like to be in certain extended family relationships, I have no shortage of a village within my friendships and within my immediate family unit (my husband and boys).  It means acknowledging, that while there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my mother,  I have great hope that although she is not present in physical form, she is not absent in spirit.  For me, cultivating joy means acknowledging the loss and all the feelings that come along with it. It means pausing and holding space for myself, all while trusting and accepting that I may never know the why of loss, but perhaps my body knows. Joy means holding space for the present, because it truly is a gift.