Practicing Gratitude and Celebration

For our family, the first week of November is a full one, immersed in celebration and love. During November 8-14, we celebrate two birthdays and an anniversary. No, we didn't plan it this way, if that's what you're going to ask. It just is what it is. This year was a bit different. Between our sons' milestone birthdays (Jax age 14 and Jupiter age 2) and our 15th anniversary, we felt a bit of pressure. Considering how 2020 started and the celebration and gratitude that we both wanted to share, we subconsciously felt immense pressure to do the most. For the boys' birthdays, we didn't feel comfortable doing a birthday party due to COVID-19 cases rising again here in Los Angeles. We also couldn't figure out where we wanted to go for our anniversary. We both felt the pressure. Where did we land? I'm glad you asked. Here are a few takeaways on embracing gratitude and letting go of the pressure to do the most.

1. Our therapist applauded us on our grit and commitment to each other during our most recent therapy session. She shared that this week's goal would be to release the pressure of performing some grand gesture of celebrating 15 years. The celebration is simply the showing up with intention and that our anniversary was not confined to one day, and that we make the rules. So, we both decided to plan a getaway in January.

2. The boys' birthdays were the sweetest this year. Jax got his long-coveted jazz bass guitar and amp. Jupiter received more wooden building blocks to knock over. Yes, I am sure that both boys (and us too) would have loved to hang out with our friends, cutting a birthday cake, and celebrating our boys. However, this year we had something even more special. Jon and Jax stayed up all night watching The Matrix movies and eating vegan cobbler. In Jax's eyes, that was better than any birthday party (well, sort of; he's still a teenager).

3. This morning, I woke up to an online conversation between Alicia Keys and Deepak Chopra. They were discussing gratitude. Chopra shared the practice of living in gratitude and how it's different from merely thinking "happy thoughts" or ignoring reality. He shared that living in gratitude is taking an intentional moment, thinking of all the things you are grateful for, and basking yourself within the celebration of it all.

Lastly, I know that times can feel heavy. The way 2020 started for our family felt like nothing short of a dumpster fire. However, I have been in constant awe of how hard times never last always + how joy cometh in the morning. Keep going. Keep pressing. Keep doing the work. It's going to be ok. 

It's Going to Be Ok.

It's going to be ok.
I know.
It's a lot.
The world feels heavy.
Things feel heavy.
We could all use a hug.
We are all going to be ok.

Parents are gearing up for their second round of remote learning. Folks are nervous. Will my child be left behind? Will they thrive? Will we survive? Partnerships feel strained. No, you are not the only one who is feeling big feelings toward their significant other. No, you are not the only one who is feeling uninspired. It's ok if you don't want to make sourdough, learn how to knit, or master a craft during this time.

Yes, we have all entered a zoom meeting with pajama bottoms, AND no, you are not the only who is over Zoom meetings. We miss our friends too.

It's all going to be ok. How do I know? How can I be so sure? Because we always have been in ages past. We, humans, are a resilient sort shifting... evolving... thriving.

The key is to take it one day at a time...One moment at a time. Concentrate on what matters. You. Your mental health. Your wellness.

Let go of petty disputes. A dear mama friend, Melanie Fiona, once said during a panel, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be well?"

Lean into truth. What is the truth? Find it. Hold on to it.

NetFlix and Chill(s)?

Heart shaped boxes, cheap chocolate, and plush teddy bears lining your local drug store. ..Valentine's Day is that time of year where lovers young and old profess their love and appreciation for one another. Dinner reservations are made, babysitters are booked weeks in advance, and couples who have not had sex in months, finally make the time to cue Marvin Gaye, and get it on. However, THIS Valentine's Day has proven to be quite different for the hubby and I. But first, lets rewind..

My husband I have now been married for 10 years, together for 14. That means..We have now celebrated 14 Valentine's Days. Every year, we have made time to go out, grab some dinner, look deeply into each other's eyes and reflect. Yes, we have been THAT couple. Around this time last year, I was three months pregnant, nauseas, and exhausted due to a tiny human making his home in my uterus. Our V-Day last year? We got a sitter for our oldest, and went to our favorite Indian Restaurant and celebrated another year and our soon to be new addition..Good enough. Years prior more than likely may have been more elaborate and perhaps a bit more sexy. But hey, it worked for us..

Fast forward one year and an extra kiddo later, and here we are. Saturday night..Valentine's Eve..the oldest kiddo has a fever..the youngest, just getting over his first cold..And the hubby and I..well, we are still adjusting. This year, our Valentine's festivities included convincing a nine year old to drink his fresh pressed orange and turmeric juice and rest, all while entertaining an energetic teething six month old..Real hot..I know.

So where did these unforeseen/ foreseen events leave us on this lover's holiday?  It left two exhausted parental units on the sofa, watching endless amount of 'Making a Murderer' while scoffing down vegan donuts(courtesy of the Mother In-Law)..Was I ok with this? Is this how I imagined this Valentine's Day #14 to be? Yes and of course not. Am I thankful? Absolutely. I have the privilege to share my life with someone who I not only love, but I like. And Isn't that what all this V-Day hoopla is about? So THIS Valentine's weekend, as we stared longingly into each other's sleep deprived eyes, I remained thankful for progression, change, and the shifting that causes us all to proceed forward in love. Here's to all the lovers..I pray your Day is filled with the love you so deeply deserve. As for us..NetFlix and Chill? More like Netflix.....and more NetFlix.