When I was asked to write a love letter to myself, my initial reaction was “Sure, thats easy!”. I quickly found out the opposite. As I sat and thought about what I wanted to say to myself, it got me thinking about how i love in general? Im not that poetic girl who reads Maya Angelou poems and can quote “Phenomenal Woman, Thats Me” at the drop of a dime. I don't watch Super Soul Sundays. Heck, I have trouble writing a deep message on the inside of a birthday card! All that to say, I realized I’m not a “talker” I’m a “do-er"... a woman of action. I may not always have the right words to say, but I can cook you a pot of collard greens to make you feel better. So thats what I’m going to do for my younger self.
I decided to give my 12yr old self a check list of sorts... a way to "do over" if you will, some of my 34yr old selfs mistakes. An almanac... a cheat sheet. I realized that the best way to show myself love is to "Do" or "Do Over".. Here it goes:
Hey Bran, I know its rough being a pre-teen, you just got your period and you have no idea where to put that stick thingy mom gave you. Your wondering when your going to get some “boobies” (they will come). In the meantime, call Dad. I know he's been a mess lately with the drinking but he wont be here for long and your going to regret not talking to him more. Days like your wedding day (yes, your getting married!) and when your son is born (yes, your gonna be a mom too!) and many more times in your life. So please put the hard feelings to the side and just give him a big hug and a kiss (and and extra from me).
A few years later when your in high school, you’re going to have your first heart break. Sorry, but it wont be the last, and if it makes you feel any better they get easier overtime. This first heartbreak however, don't let it rob you of your identity. Keep that virginity you hold so sacred. Don’t give it to him, he’s not worth it! However, you did get a good hair cut after it was all said and done (you tend to cut your hair when major life changes happen). Don’t waste your time stressing and fighting girls at school over his philandering ways. Focus on school and dance team (your going to need it). In general, the first sign a bullsh*t from him RUN!
When you're 25, your dream of a life as a professional dancer will come true! Please enjoy it. You worked so hard to get there. Mom sacrificed a lot for it - driving you back and forth to classes 5 days a week, skipping house bills to buy recital costumes. It will be one of the best times in your life. Don’t stress yourself out thinking about whats next, enjoy the moment. Enjoy your hard work. You're good enough. Don’t cry at night comparing yourself to everyone else. You're where you are for a reason and the reason is YOU! You have so much light and life inside of you, don't let your past disappointments rob you of such an amazing experience. So you were asked to loose 10lbs bc all the other dancers are tall and thin and your short and thick...such ugly words you use to describe yourself! Your not short and thick... your petite and curvy. AND anyways, in 5 more years, people are going to be buying the curves you have, so just look at it as fashion forward. You can still dance them all to the ground! Love yourself!
Overall Bran, you have it in you to do and be whatever you want! Keep pushing yourself and believing in you when nobody else does. There’s literally nothing that can stop you, and remember I LOVE YOU!
P.S. Avoid dating any guy whose name starts with a C, T, D or R!!!!