Suzanne's Quest To Achieving Balance

On most days I feel like a Mom fail.  I am racing to get my kids to school on time, but often falling late.  I open the fridge to find a lunchable as the only thing to throw in my kiddos lunchbox because I didn't have time to grocery shop this week yet.  I am often late to pick them up from school too, as my kids know that 'spot' to go to when Mom is late again.  We race to baseball practice.  Race to dance class.  Race here, race there.  I work on the weekends, including Sundays.  My kids are used to their Mom being over extended and way too busy.  They want to slow down.  Stop at the park.  Not eat in the car.  But we are racing here and there every day.  

I recognize that these most precious of days are flying by, and Mom is just racing through life.  Even my own fitness practice has suffered this year as my business grows and triples in size.  Every month I recognize that my motherhood goals have fallen short.  I am racing around, and forgetting to slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures of their childhood.  Last night, I was so exhausted from racing around all day that I was too tired to cuddle my 8 year old son who longs for a good cuddle at night.  I fell asleep disappointed in myself.  There is no balance.  Work has taken over and the balance is lost.  I long to slow down and soak up all of that good togetherness of family.  I always wonder if the next week will calm down and get better, but I recognize that I need to create the balance or life & work keep spinning faster and faster.  I stuggle to hit the brakes, but long for balance.  

The Best Version of Myself...

Fitness has always been a part of my life whether for recreation, competition or most recently for the sole reason of being the best version of myself. Best version of MYSELF. Not the best version in general, because that mindset inevitably brings forth comparison and comparison in my opinion is the archenemy to a healthy self-esteem. 

If I hadn't discovered this revelation I would be disgusted with my body image today and would be putting forth far too many efforts toward immediate change back to my physically fit self. I would see all the picture perfect mamas on Instagram and feel like trash due to my few new stretch marks, the extra weight around my thighs/midsection, how my hip bones have shifted for good. Thankfully I am no longer in the business of comparison and all of these changes have only fueled my womanly empowerment! I am so proud of this body and what it has accomplished, I have grace for it and am giving it the necessary time to heal..do I want to be fit again? Of course! But in good timing and not because I want countless likes on Instagram. Majority of my energy is going toward nurturing a newly earth side baby, making sure that she feels safe and loved. My time is spent no better way than with her laying skin to skin on my chest for as long as she sees fit. 

We are unconsciously programmed from a very young age to dress, act, be a certain way and as mothers if we are not intentional about guarding our children's hearts and minds they will continue to fall victim to fueling their progress in life by insecurities. I'm not saying that society is evil or trends are of the devil but when I see people putting more stock in how others will perceive them over their very own peace of mind and contentment that is what does not sit well within my soul. 

Every human deserves to be seen, to be loved, to be accepted for their most genuine self but the trouble is many are unwilling to be vulnerable enough for that acknowledgment. Hiding in plain sight has been mastered by an amazing amount of people and it breaks my heart to be aware of just how much potential is being hidden behind the fear of failure and loneliness. Realistically every successful person who had to put in their own efforts to get there has faced many failures along the way and as far as loneliness goes all of my revelations, spiritual awakenings or simple realization of common sense has never come to me while I'm out with my girls, getting ready for a concert or even having a Netflix&chill with my soulmate but RATHER in complete solitude.

I have found a respect for myself over the past few years that allows me to treat others with grace and understanding. Through trial and error, meditation and allowing the universe to finally do its thing in my life I have found that I am here to be a kind and loving inspiration of truth. My mind is at peace knowing that my purpose is simple and attainable, not easy but worth the effort because in return I am continually blessed by the addition of deep and richly invested friendships, the kind that don't give up on you when you slip up and act like a complete idiot for some reason or another. Shoutout to Shannon and Roxane, I love you girls. 

I hope that a sentence or two has deeply resonated within whomever may be reading these words.

In conclusion...

-If you haven't already, start the journey toward becoming your very best SELF. That may mean; purging your home of useless junk, eating better, working out, making time for solitude, reading a book, smelling some flowers, rekindling a forgotten hobby, nurturing a meaningful friendship.. Etc...

-if you happen to be a mother please brainstorm and consider ways that you can be very intentional about raising up your young one(s) to be entirely aware of their self worth. Make sure they know just how essential and important they are. This may mean; allowing them to be curious even if that means you don't always have the answers, praising their ideas instead of questioning them, telling them that they are wonderful.. Etc...

Close your eyes, smile and be at peace 🙏🏻
Namaste
Summer dawn
 

Fanny Pack Love...

 I would say that I've always worn what I've wanted to when I want to.  I've never had a particular style, I just usually went with what I liked.  This remains true to this day regarding fashion and pretty much everything.

 The funny thing is that I don't ever remember being into, or even wearing a fanny pack when it was "in style." Almost a year after I had my first child, I remember finding a box of old clothing and bags.  I tossed most of the stuff in the garbage (I'm totally lying...I probably just folded it and put it in a new box in hopes that I will find a new way to wear it.) Interesting enough, I pulled an unused black leather fanny pack thinking that it would be good for an upcoming family day trip. I was 100% correct in my assumptions. I had a baby back pack bag along with my fanny pack and baby in arms, with no stress moving about. That trip changed the game for me. But guess what, I never even thought about the fact that, I took that fanny pack out of a box that was about 20 years old.  Because I'm not really a "trendy," person I never really ever thought about me being "OUT of style." I got all kinds of looks about my fanny pack, most of the time it was the "Are you serious?" look. So I did what I normally do with things like this, I go from indifferent to learning to love what makes me different. That is where the "Fanny Pack Love," began.

There should be NO shame in sacrificing style for what is going to make you a more productive parent.  At least, that's where I am right now.  I'm in the thick of mommy motherhood world and if it means that I can hold both of the walker's hands, carry the infant on my hip and pay the grocery bill with ease I'm cool with the stares, smirks, questions and comments. I've realized that I'm in a season, and one day I will get back to focusing on me.  I give the moms out there that can have their hair and make-up flawless, impressive outfits accentuated with that perfect bag and shoe props. I don't know how they do it,  because quite honestly, I'm impressed with myself for just brushing my teeth, combing my hair, changing my underwear and wearing the same color socks. Like I said,  I'm in a season and right now where I am, a fanny pack is perrrrrrfect.

Fanny Pack Love

When we walk down the street together,

I feel like this is a love that could last forever.

Although friends and some family say that you must go,

I adjust you on my hip and simply say, "No."

I wish that folks would just stay in their lane,

They have no idea just how much you keep me sane.

Gone are the days frantically searching for keys, wallet, pen and phone.

So when discussing love pack, please watch your tone.

Kids under five, you know I have three...

Why would I bother with a shoulder bag, I prefer my arms and hands free!

I know its a fashion piece from the 80's and a bit later,

But when worn on my side, I feel like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider.

I've got black, I've got brown and my favorite is gray.

Bottom line ya'll, my FANNY PACK is here to stay!!!!