Stay HERE. How to stay grounded, present, and peace(Full), this election week....

It's 9:08 PM. I'm sitting on my sofa, and like many, I am feeling anxious. My anxiety has been relatively high. I know that I'm not alone. Like many, the build-up of what may or may not be regarding next week's election feels like a lot. Between navigating the crazy universe that is 2020, a racial pandemic, and dodging the Rona, it all just feels exhausting. 

I hope that Tuesday night will prove to be a victory and a clear signal that our country perhaps (just perhaps) has actively chosen to move in a different direction. I hope that Biden and Kamala win. I do. If anything that the 2016 election has shown, hope is not always guaranteed, especially when it comes to the current administration. So, where does this leave us? How do we reconcile the anxiety? The uncertainty? How do we find a home, let alone a safe space to land, when the world around us has felt so very unsafe? How do we stay present when everything within us would like to jump two places ahead to Tuesday night? Here are a few ways to stay grounded, centered, and, most importantly, peace(Ful), no matter what. 

1. Stay HERE... Stay present. Here is wherever you are. It is the present, not looking back, and for damn sure not looking ahead. I know that we all want to know what's going to happen on Tuesday night. We cannot. However, we can do our part by voting. After you've done everything that you can do to create change, stay HERE.

2. Be gentle on yourself. YOU are not crazy for feeling the massive wave of anxiety that so many are experiencing. The results of the 2016 election triggered quite a bit of PTSD. While our country has never been safe for Black and Brown folks and anyone that has felt the sting of being other(ed), the 2016 election proved to be the manifestation of our country’s insidious undertone. The stress of it all, feels heavy. Be gentle. Take space. Take care.

3. Take it one moment at a time. One breath at a time. One nap at a time. One yummy meal at a time. Again, stay HERE.

4. Nourish yourself. Eat a good meal.

5. We are stronger than we think. We, humans, are resilient folks. I spoke to a dear friend of mine the other day, reminding her of the ancestry that came before. We come from folks who have experienced so much more, with far less. Their blood flows through our veins. We will get through this.

6. Rest. You have permission to rest.

7. Ask for help—your mental health matters. I love Better Help. I also love Therapy For Black Girls as a resource.

8. Lastly, breathe. Keep breathing. 

Sending us all love,

Brandi

Rituals + Periods

"Easy like Sunday morning" has always been one of my favorite songs. It's an instant relaxer and transporter to all things good moments. This Sunday, I sit here on my sofa, bleeding. I started my period yesterday evening. I knew it was coming, as all signs pointed to the homegirl's arrival. My intuition proved correct. At first, I was a bit bummed, as tomorrow, the family and I are going for a quick getaway. I for sure didn't want to spend the majority of the time on my period. However, here we are. It is what it is. 

Around this time last year (when spending time with each other IRL was an option), a dear friend of mine shifted my thinking around my period. She and her husband had visited a shaman, and he shared with them that the time during which a person is on their period is sacred - It is when we are most intuitive, most sensitive, and when we are most attuned. It would serve us well to practice self-care and honor ourselves and our bodies. Which got me to thinking, what if we intentionally practiced ritual during our periods? What if we allowed our periods to be a moment of taking space + practicing ritual. Here are a few ways to begin:

1. While you are shedding, ask yourself, 'what am I shedding during this time? What am I letting go of?'

2. Envision what you are calling forth. What do you want to bring in during this time of renewal? 

3. Either prepare yourself a meal or order in. Whatever it is that you eat, let it being nourishing + filling. Comfort food is your friend during this time. 

4. Hydrate with warming teas. I love Moon Juice's golden milk tea. I also love Roots Heart and Mind's Postpartum Tea (It's great for when you need some extra warmth.)

5. Rest. Don't push yourself. Don't make any major decisions during this time. Dive into a good book. Just be. 

Lastly, this time can feel different for everyone. For some, our periods can feel like a sigh of relief. For others, it can feel like a reminder of what was lost. Wherever you are, honor it. Create ritual celebrating the magic of your body, the resilience of your spirit, and the fortitude that resides deep within. 

It's Going to Be Ok.

It's going to be ok.
I know.
It's a lot.
The world feels heavy.
Things feel heavy.
We could all use a hug.
We are all going to be ok.

Parents are gearing up for their second round of remote learning. Folks are nervous. Will my child be left behind? Will they thrive? Will we survive? Partnerships feel strained. No, you are not the only one who is feeling big feelings toward their significant other. No, you are not the only one who is feeling uninspired. It's ok if you don't want to make sourdough, learn how to knit, or master a craft during this time.

Yes, we have all entered a zoom meeting with pajama bottoms, AND no, you are not the only who is over Zoom meetings. We miss our friends too.

It's all going to be ok. How do I know? How can I be so sure? Because we always have been in ages past. We, humans, are a resilient sort shifting... evolving... thriving.

The key is to take it one day at a time...One moment at a time. Concentrate on what matters. You. Your mental health. Your wellness.

Let go of petty disputes. A dear mama friend, Melanie Fiona, once said during a panel, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be well?"

Lean into truth. What is the truth? Find it. Hold on to it.

Get Ready With Me... and Glossier

As a child, I remember waking up to the smell of bacon and coffee. I remember the smell of my mother's perfume... how it would linger around her vanity mirror in the morning. I remember the hustle and bustle... the grand parade of marching the children out of the house and on to school. Needless to say, the morning routine was real, with real memories of good. 

Truthfully, my family's morning routine looks quite different than the one I remember. For starters, our family's diet is plant based. Jon and I both work creative jobs, so therefore our mornings may differ from day to day. If there is school, the morning may start earlier (around 6am to be exact). If school is out, liberties are taken... the opportunity to breathe a bit and take in the morning's glory becomes the top priority. 

I usually start the day by shimmying into the kitchen to pour a fresh glass of water with a squeeze of lemon to flush out toxins and jumpstart my morning. A shower normally is soon to follow. Because I don't drink coffee, my morning shower stands in as a loyal substitute. (Side Note: I first start off with a warm shower, and then gradually shift to cold. Cold showers help improve circulation and immunity, combats stress, and increases mental alertness.) 

After my shower, I moisturize with coconut oil as well as some of my favorite essential oils (patchouli, lavender, bergamot). I personally, I love using essential oils as my scent, as they are known to do more good than harm. Unlike most commercial perfumes, you can be sure that essential oils do not contain synthetic ingredients that can also act as hormone disruptors. Therapeutic grade essential oils are just that... therapeutic. They can uplift mood, ease anxiety, and cure common cold symptoms.

As far as makeup goes... I use my ultimate fave Glossier. I love their mission of creating products that truly focus on skin health.

"It all began back in 2010 on IntoTheGloss.com, our super successful beauty blog with a loyal, influential readership—and editors with a sixth-sense for what’s relevant (and what works)."- Glossier

Their Skin Tint is the best everyday foundation around. It goes on smooth and feels light. It goes on smooth and feels light... as if I'm going sans makeup, hence allowing my skin to simply glow.  It becomes apparent that when wearing Glossier, people notice my skin... not my makeup. My other favorite product by Glossier is their Boy Brow. I wear this even when going sans makeup. Boy Brow is like the cherry on top, giving my brows a very full and youthful look. If I don't have time to do anything else, I will simply swipe on Boy Brow, coconut oil, and some balm.com on my lips, and I'm out the door. Trust me, as a mom of two, doula, and creative, I don't have time to sit and contour my face. I want my makeup to celebrate my skin, not hide it. 

Lastly, I believe that personal style resides deep within. I don't believe that we should have to sacrifice comfort for whats considered "cool". (Cool is overrated anyways.)  Give me something free flowing from my closet, a hat, and out the door I go. A lot like our choice of clothing, our morning routine says a lot about who we are... whats necessary... whats important. Our routines may all look different. They may differ from day to day. Its all good. Do you, mama... It looks good on you. 

Suzanne's Quest To Achieving Balance

On most days I feel like a Mom fail.  I am racing to get my kids to school on time, but often falling late.  I open the fridge to find a lunchable as the only thing to throw in my kiddos lunchbox because I didn't have time to grocery shop this week yet.  I am often late to pick them up from school too, as my kids know that 'spot' to go to when Mom is late again.  We race to baseball practice.  Race to dance class.  Race here, race there.  I work on the weekends, including Sundays.  My kids are used to their Mom being over extended and way too busy.  They want to slow down.  Stop at the park.  Not eat in the car.  But we are racing here and there every day.  

I recognize that these most precious of days are flying by, and Mom is just racing through life.  Even my own fitness practice has suffered this year as my business grows and triples in size.  Every month I recognize that my motherhood goals have fallen short.  I am racing around, and forgetting to slow down and enjoy the simple pleasures of their childhood.  Last night, I was so exhausted from racing around all day that I was too tired to cuddle my 8 year old son who longs for a good cuddle at night.  I fell asleep disappointed in myself.  There is no balance.  Work has taken over and the balance is lost.  I long to slow down and soak up all of that good togetherness of family.  I always wonder if the next week will calm down and get better, but I recognize that I need to create the balance or life & work keep spinning faster and faster.  I stuggle to hit the brakes, but long for balance.