Rest + Ritual

Moment of honesty... I have never enjoyed napping. In the past, intentionally resting has been hard for me. Don't get me wrong, once in bed; I have never had a hard time falling asleep or sleeping in general. However, intentionally, resting has always been a hard sell. I remember as a young kid feeling as if I was somehow missing out on the fun happening on the other side of my bedroom's closed door. There were still adventures to be had, and I wanted in on it. Truthfully, this FOMO would continue well into adulthood. I would eventually opt into taking a deep dive into the why. Until this point, I had filed this angst against napping into the "well, that's just the way I am" folder. Only recently (thanks to weekly therapy) have discovered that it is not! 

This fear of resting was deeply rooted in need to prove and be approved. I like to call it the hard hustle syndrome. Many parents, Black folks, women, and most marginalized groups feel it, I'm sure. As someone who checks all the above boxes (Black, Woman, Mother, etc.), I would feel this pressure triple the load. It has taken quite the inner work to break away from the internal dialogue and outside pressure. Learning to prioritize one's self-care above all else has required that I unlearn the toxic expectations of powering through. It has required that I understand that my body, mental health, and holistic life matters. Prioritizing rest as an act of beautiful rebellion was all a part of it! To experience self-liberation, I would begin creating a ritual around my rest. Here are few ways in which I did so. 

1. My sleep comfort matters. Upon entering this journey, I would begin looking at my sleeping space, specifically my bed. Was the mattress comfy? How about my pillows? Upon laying down on my bed, did I feel comfortable? For this exploration, I partnered with my friends over at Avocado, an organic sleep brand specializing in organic mattresses and so much more! First, I have always wanted an organic mattress, as they are better for your health and the planet! Avocado is made with GOTS organic certified cotton and wool. GOTS organic certified latex- all sustainably sourced from farms co-owned in India. I've gotten some of the best sleep ever courtesy of my new mattress and plush pillows - all made with natural fibers and non-toxic.

2. Part of my ritual is preparing my bed with soft and inviting bedding. There is nothing like turning down my bed as I prepare to lay down for the night. NOTHING LIKE IT! Avocado offers excellent bedding as well!

3. I prepare my surrounding space as well before bedtime. My water bottle is on my side table. Sometimes, I start my diffuser with my favorite essential oil! I set the mood!

4. Once in bed, take a few deep breaths, reflect on the day, and let it all go with every exhale. Sit your phone outside of your bedroom.

Rest is healing and therapeutic. 

We all thrive best when we have it. 

Rest is our birthright.

Please take it. 

Showing Up

You can do hard things, and when you cant…Rest + try again tomorrow.

There are times to push through and times to take pause. Like many, it can be somewhat hard to determine which is which. Today, I was productive, and I mean productive because I accomplished everything off of “my list.” Truthfully, this weekend started with a long list of both work and personal goals. The list contained everything from book stuff to blog posts to decorating for an upcoming project. At first glance, I felt overwhelmed, wondering if I would be able to pull off half of my to-do’s. Between quarantine and kids running around, coupled with the way, my mind can jump from one thing to the next with the agility of an acrobat. I worried. I worried that either I would become so overwhelmed or distracted by it all. I imagined myself starting fingers to keyboard, writing my first sentence only for it to be interrupted by a young child running full speed into my room or by the idea of instead baking cupcakes. Here are a few ways that felt grounding in my quest to stay on task and accomplish every one of my goals!! 

1. Know thyself. Prolonged doses of extreme concentration have proven to be hard. All-day (with no breaks) on one task is not my jam. The solution? Jon, my Virgo husband, suggested that I work 45 minutes straight and then take 15-minute intervals of rest in between. If by chance 30 minutes was all that I could do, then that was ok too. 

2. Set your intentions. Before I would begin, I would start by listing the top 2-3 things that were imperative to get done. If I were left with additional time or felt energized to do more, I would go for it. 

3. Show grace. We must restructure the meaning of productivity, especially during COVID. We must operate within an overflow of grace toward self. Waking up, taking a shower, caring for those around you and yourself is what’s important! By simply showing up, imperfect, yet present, this is productivity.